asylum seekers

[Sam Gowland]

Not exactly what you were probably thinking ...

My mind was on the wander (as per usual) thinking about what makes my garden so hostile or my house so appealing that I have creatures trying their hardest to come live here. Eighteen months ago I was (almost) over thrown by a family of mice who decided to take refuge for the winter in my kitchen. I must admit that it must have started to get a little over crowded in there because one morning whilst coming down stairs I was greeted by one of the adorable little creatures on the middle of my stairs.

A rather cheeky little creature who stopped in mid journey to look up accusingly at me as if to question why I'd got in his (maybes her I never got that acquainted) intended destination. All in all I screamed, jumped and scared him enough to change his little mind and off he scurried back 'home' to the rest of the family. I followed in hot pursuit determined to find out how they (all the family of mice) had been getting in. Mystery solved - he led me to their secret entry - a hole hidden in the corner behind my fridge. Maybes if he was so dumb he must have been male(o/j). After a week of trying the 'humane' way of gently persuading them to pack up and leave I had to admit defeat and I called in the reinforcements. The 'troops' came in the guise of a one man army and I'm afraid I reluctantly contracted him to kill the delightful little aliens. A month on and I had my home back and I was just about over it, my conscience quietened if not entirely silent.

Well today we had invasion two - of the hoppity kind, for it was the turn of one of the frogs to come seek refuge. Maybes the pond has started to get a tad bit full for he did make it upstairs. Maybes he was looking to move into the bathroom, I don't know for sure for he was trapped (at least caught alive) and sent back to where he'd came from....

So I'm at a loss. Has my garden become too much of a battle ground forcing all these creatures to seek solace in warmer climes or does my house just hold more appeal anyway..... Maybes that frog thought the room I'm decorating would make a nice new bachelor pad for such a handsome young fellow as he ....speaking of which he may just well have been my handsome prince(in disguise as a frog) awaiting a kiss - **** and I just sent him packing........

[Alex]

Erma Bombeck anyone?